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Cesearean: A Mother's "Battle Scar"

Recovering from my pregnancy was a very difficult time for me. It was very emotionally and physically draining because my body was changing and had suffered meltdown of all sorts from post partum depression. Although, I have recovered physically from my Cesarean surgery and my hormones balancing themselves out once again, I certainly didn’t have the self-image I had prior my pregnancy. Accepting that I had a large scar running across near my bikini line caused quite a damper on my confidence. It took some time and good friends to help regain my confidence back and since then, it’s been well.

The scar from my Cesarean left a mark on my oh-so-slightly blemished body. I had a really hard time trying not to look at it, I still do, but it’s not as bad now. Although it’s hidden from the rest of the world I found having such a scar was unsightly and unacceptable. It made me wonder what would a man think if we became intimate. A part of me really felt as if I was damaged goods, not even remotely sexy. I couldn’t bare the thought. Ironically, it took an intimate and sensual evening to help me accept my “battle scar.” If he’s ok with it, I should be okay with it too.  In a way, he somehow reaffirmed the wonderful love I had of myself and made it better. It’s funny how it takes someone else to accept yourself before you could accept yourself; at least a certain part of you anyway.

I also talked to my best friend about how I felt and she said that I should be proud to wear that scar. It’s the “battle scar” of motherhood, she says to me. With her kind words, it made me realized that having such a scar isn’t something to be ashamed of but to be proud of. To acceptance. Cheers.

So to those who have one, have you ever felt this way before?